stagnation

so I am at a bit of a standstill.

we have a house that we are not living in, paying the mortgage and it is sitting empty. we had it appraised at 3000 over what we paid, as is, 10 yrs ago. if we do the work, floors, main bathroom and a little in the basement, we could clear 30000 to 40000. now when i say "we" do the work it would really be me as my hubby is, well how do i say this politely, lazy. he would hire someone to do the work, which is nice but $$$.

holding us back? This home is negative. what i mean by that is you feel drained, headaches and the creativity flew out the window. When we bought the house we were told that the owners 16yr old daughter committed suicide there. yes there was some freaky things that happened, nothing that i couldn't handle. turns out it was slowly eating away at my husband. so the last year we lived there wasn't exactly pleasant. add to that the death of my friend who rented it from us. I am feeling a little wary to sell it to another unsuspecting family/couple.

the thing that is pushing us a bit is the current home we are renting the landlord is looking to put it up on the market soon. if he should sell before we can get that house sold, that means we would have to move somewhere around here again. I don't think i could bear it. we were hoping to get the house sold so we could move to hawaii. wouldn't that be nice?

so welcome to my brain. oh and i have a wedding to go to on the 4th. so i made a new dress for the occasion. i figured to make it a size larger than i normally wear because i have gained a bit. i measured twice before i made that decision as well. turns out i can't wear that either. i think i'm gonna cry.

happy happy

so it looks as though my master plan is working. mmuuwwaahhh.

i feel better now. no really, my weight loss is continuing on schedule. i am working my ass off and really watching what goes in my mouth. mostly. and my progress is slow which is good, 1 to 2 lbs a week. even with my sleeping shitty and traveling.

went to Seattle last Tuesday had a blast. ate way too much but drank lots of water and haven't missed a work out all week. went to IKEA, jeasus keyrist that's a big damn store. its sad to admit but i actually lost my berings and i have excellent berings ;) did all the things we like to do when we go there. had a blast. today we are heading up state to visit the apple capital. apple season is comming up. and i can't wait!!! but hopefully afterwards i can convince him to go to the petrified forest and the wild horse monument. i've been but he hasn't. it should be fun.

it got so cold tonite that i had to start a fire this evening. its supposed to be close to freezing this week. yuck. but change is good. some of the cottonwoods around here have started to turn color already. sigh. i need to chop down the corn stalks to make some decorations for my favoritiest holiday and get some big orange squash ie pumpkins. mmm pumpkins.

so off i go to try to get a few more hours of sleep in. wish me luck!

so a quick update. it was actually 105 degrees that day of the wedding. and i was sweating "like a whore in church" as my husband says. it went pretty quick actually and if i do say so myself i did pretty damn good. i even had her ultra conservative baptist preacher uncle compliment me. so la te da!

so i'm on a quest to make my ass smaller. and for the past two days i've really blown it. damn it. Sunday i needed to rest. all week I've either been doing hardcore cardio 20 minutes to start and the last 4 days i got up to 40 minutes and stayed within my target heart rate for 30 of those. and I've also been doing some serious yoga stretching that has been kicking my ass. but today i had no excuse other than i'm fucking lazy. and it being a holiday, family and food. but at least i had a lot of veg and very little fat. but also not enough protein. so tomorrow is another day er actually today i suppose. man i need to get into a better sleeping schedule. i think that its not helping all this back and forth.

hey we're gonna buy a new washer and dryer tomorrow. yippee! its gonna be green. hahaha. actually its cheaper than white or the blue they have by over $100, so i would say that was the deciding factor price before beauty, or something like that.

oh and i get to see my nephew W tomorrow/today as well. I'll pick him up from school, i think we'll swim. he is such a character! i can remember taking him into my workplace at 5 years old and using words that most of my coworkers didn't know. man i worked with some idiots. thank the gods that part of my life is over. but W really makes me smile. he is smart as a whip and just about as spastic as one sometimes. he is a small kid so he gets picked on i think, which makes me sad but i can empathize as both his mother and i were small for our ages too.
breath
oh and one more thing. we live in the orchard area here. cherries to the north and west pears to the south and a few apples to the east. pears are being harvested now so before they hit our area we went out and stole 8 grocery bags full of amazing pears under the dark of the new moon. mmuuwwaahhh.
breath.
me thinks its time for bed, maybe.