THUNDER!!!

its 2 or so in the morning and i get this uncontrollable urge to be up an about. so i get up and go pee. lay back down. get up and get a drink of water. lay back down. get up and make sure the cats are fed and watered Enough ! i think and resolutely head back to bed.

FLASH!! oooo could it be? rain? lighting? i still myself hoping and yet fearing that my eagerness might somehow drive it away. so i close my eyes. and wait. was that a flash? start counting. 1 onethousand 2 onethousand 3 onethousand 4 one thousand 5 onethousand all the way to 20. THUNDER!! oooo!! so does 20 mean minutes or miles? i can never remember. either way i can wait a litle longer. lie still. close my eyes and feel/hear my heartbeat.

FLASH!! 1 onethousand 2 onethousand all the way to 15 this time. ponder minutes or miles for a while. are you supposed to count after the lighting or the thunder i wonder. laying still, waiting. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH whats that noise? sounds like a fan is on clear across the house. listen carefully... could that be rain? i keep straining to hear as i sit up in bed and twist around to open the window ever so slightly.... mmm it smells like it. i can barely see it falling in the dark but i can most certainly hear it. YEAH!!

FLASH!!! no longer counting but coming apart at the seams. gahh gotta get outside my body/brain screaming at me. I lean over and give my sleeping husband a kiss and tell him i gotta go play in the rain. mmmk he mumbles with his face buried in the pillow and covers. i jump out and grab some clothes thinking I'd like to do this naked but even in the country i wouldn't want to scare anyone. and out the door i go leaving it open for the air and cats to come and go as they please.

there i stand facing the strong breeze feeling the soft summer rain pat my upturned face and arms. shivering slightly not because of the cold but all the ozone and energy in the air. i can see, smell, touch, taste and hear her as she rolls across the hills. throwing the occasional bolt, wondering if it hit anything this time. giggling as the thunder gets louder the harder i rub my hands together, bursting into laughter when it stops rumbling as i stop too.

I don't know what it is about storms that fill me up with this incredible sense of rightness. but i rush out to see her every chance i get to purge the negative and fill up with all that rightness. we don't get them very often here but you can bet your sweet ass that I'm there when we do.