Friday, August 15

Oy Vey

So tomorrow ie. today I have a wedding to do. No, not as Planner or Bridesmaid/Matron or Child minder or even the simple act of watching. You see my friends I am Ordained. So that makes me the Master of Ceremonies. gack. This is something that i am doing as a favor. thats right, no money, gratis, gratuit, libero, frei, полу́ченное да́ром, saor in aisce,れは無料です。so not only do I get the pleasure of going the wedding of a close friend. I also get to share the joy of everyone staring at me through them.

But wait there is more....

I am not a great public speaker. The entirety of the ceremony is written by the bride and groom. and its a mish mash of pagan and christian. Pagan to please the bride and christian to please the groom and most of the familial attendees. Add to this the fact that the bride can't write (she thinks otherwise) and they want everything from handfasting rites and some more traditional ones thrown in. When she first showed me the vows it was 10 pages long. i mean get over yourselves. with language and sentence structure that of someone from an Asian country trying to speak Ye Olde English. my head is going to explode. thankfully i chopped it by 60% but its still going to be a nightmare.

cool things are my family will be there so at least i have that support. Husband too but he will be gently mocking me and going to the truck for beer. it should be over relatively quickly. I may not throw up if i just focus on the task at hand. i get to wear one of my favorite dresses. its outside at a wonderful park. there will be food later but no liquor.

oh and did i mention it should be a scorching 101 F and held in the late afternoon. kill me please.

Saturday, August 9


its 2 or so in the morning and i get this uncontrollable urge to be up an about. so i get up and go pee. lay back down. get up and get a drink of water. lay back down. get up and make sure the cats are fed and watered Enough ! i think and resolutely head back to bed.

FLASH!! oooo could it be? rain? lighting? i still myself hoping and yet fearing that my eagerness might somehow drive it away. so i close my eyes. and wait. was that a flash? start counting. 1 onethousand 2 onethousand 3 onethousand 4 one thousand 5 onethousand all the way to 20. THUNDER!! oooo!! so does 20 mean minutes or miles? i can never remember. either way i can wait a litle longer. lie still. close my eyes and feel/hear my heartbeat.

FLASH!! 1 onethousand 2 onethousand all the way to 15 this time. ponder minutes or miles for a while. are you supposed to count after the lighting or the thunder i wonder. laying still, waiting. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH whats that noise? sounds like a fan is on clear across the house. listen carefully... could that be rain? i keep straining to hear as i sit up in bed and twist around to open the window ever so slightly.... mmm it smells like it. i can barely see it falling in the dark but i can most certainly hear it. YEAH!!

FLASH!!! no longer counting but coming apart at the seams. gahh gotta get outside my body/brain screaming at me. I lean over and give my sleeping husband a kiss and tell him i gotta go play in the rain. mmmk he mumbles with his face buried in the pillow and covers. i jump out and grab some clothes thinking I'd like to do this naked but even in the country i wouldn't want to scare anyone. and out the door i go leaving it open for the air and cats to come and go as they please.

there i stand facing the strong breeze feeling the soft summer rain pat my upturned face and arms. shivering slightly not because of the cold but all the ozone and energy in the air. i can see, smell, touch, taste and hear her as she rolls across the hills. throwing the occasional bolt, wondering if it hit anything this time. giggling as the thunder gets louder the harder i rub my hands together, bursting into laughter when it stops rumbling as i stop too.

I don't know what it is about storms that fill me up with this incredible sense of rightness. but i rush out to see her every chance i get to purge the negative and fill up with all that rightness. we don't get them very often here but you can bet your sweet ass that I'm there when we do.

o tay

i say lets have another go at this mess. blogging that is. it seems as though i have a good run of it for a while then i quit because of family, speed of life and the bastard stalkers. not to mention the ones i know in my life that decide to make things difficult. which is why the last 2 had to be removed.

so i think i will give it another go. i have a hard time with capitalization and the occasional syntax error. unless its intentional. so piss off. but other wise...

lets go!!!!!!!!!