Friday, August 15

Oy Vey

So tomorrow ie. today I have a wedding to do. No, not as Planner or Bridesmaid/Matron or Child minder or even the simple act of watching. You see my friends I am Ordained. So that makes me the Master of Ceremonies. gack. This is something that i am doing as a favor. thats right, no money, gratis, gratuit, libero, frei, полу́ченное да́ром, saor in aisce,れは無料です。so not only do I get the pleasure of going the wedding of a close friend. I also get to share the joy of everyone staring at me through them.

But wait there is more....

I am not a great public speaker. The entirety of the ceremony is written by the bride and groom. and its a mish mash of pagan and christian. Pagan to please the bride and christian to please the groom and most of the familial attendees. Add to this the fact that the bride can't write (she thinks otherwise) and they want everything from handfasting rites and some more traditional ones thrown in. When she first showed me the vows it was 10 pages long. i mean get over yourselves. with language and sentence structure that of someone from an Asian country trying to speak Ye Olde English. my head is going to explode. thankfully i chopped it by 60% but its still going to be a nightmare.

cool things are my family will be there so at least i have that support. Husband too but he will be gently mocking me and going to the truck for beer. it should be over relatively quickly. I may not throw up if i just focus on the task at hand. i get to wear one of my favorite dresses. its outside at a wonderful park. there will be food later but no liquor.

oh and did i mention it should be a scorching 101 F and held in the late afternoon. kill me please.


Scaramouche Jones said...

I recommend cutting it down to just 9 words: "Do you? Does she? Cool, let's hit the bar..."

Elaine James said...

oh if only..... le sigh

Karen said...

so, how did it turn out? surely you didn't just vomit the words?